A Mother’s Wish

It took me a while to figure it out. What pray tell? How to balance being a mom while trying to maintain my inner peace without the constant worrying of being a parent for almost 30 years now.

Oh, the guilt we put on ourselves. Or, could it be that kids know how to push the guilt button to get what they want? Without a doubt, it is both.

This month will be my youngest child’s last day of high school. Bittersweet. I believe more sweet than bitter.

My children have always been my greatest gifts, and I will never stop being a mother, but it is time to share my feelings of all that I have thought about while getting my arms around that fact that I now have three grown children. I am officially going to be an empty nester.

Below are a few things I’d like my children to know, especially the youngest who will be off to college in the fall.

I believe this to be true for any parent, not just a mother. It is from a different perspective. Not only is it their journey to be lived, but it is my next chapter to be lived, as well.

• Your mother is going to love you no matter what, but be empathetic to the fact that she never stops worrying so do more good in your life, so she worries less.
• A mother is going to support you in your endeavors, but understand you should not take advantage of that either. Your accomplishments are also her successes. Any setbacks, you have her shoulder to support your head and her arms to hold you even tighter.
• Mothers give and give and give without asking for anything in return. Surprise her. Do something unexpected to show her how much she means to you. If you want to make it big, actions are much better than words (at least for me).
• A mother wants to take care of everything, but there is a time when she can’t wait to see you do it all on your own. Be responsible. Everything won’t magically happen. She can’t always be there to remind you or help you through whatever it is that has to get done.
• Sometimes it takes a little longer to understand all that life has to offer (I was a late bloomer), but try to get it sooner if possible, do the work, peak and then soar to be your absolute finest. A mother has taken a lot of time trying to instill these skills in you so you can be on your own and to be confident so it is done well. It is your time and now a mother’s time to begin seeing who you are meant to be.
• Let your mother rest her weary head not just for one day or two or because it is Mother’s Day, but because you believe it is her time now to feel good about all that she has accomplished by raising you. It has been quite a roller coaster ride. More twists and turns that the scariest of all amusement park rides.

I was the youngest of three children so I think I can only guess how my mother felt at this stage since I am feeling it now. Not just because she did such a good job, but she was so darn unselfish through all the years she raised us.

I didn’t get it either at 18. I’m not sure anyone ever really gets it until they become a parent themselves. Nobody can tell you, prepare you, train you to be a parent. It just seems that you truly understand it the second you look into your newborn’s face to see what unconditional love really means, and then you fight, live, breathe with that child only until you know he or she is okay. Not a second less than that.

I am ready for all my kids to be okay. My heart races faster at the thought of seeing my youngest son go off to college in the fall. My heart lurches even more at the idea that he may not have the skills to successfully accomplish every dream he has set for himself.

Can you show your mother you can do it? The ultimate prize for me to know I was a decent parent. The one thing you can do for me is to stand on your own, self-assured feet ready for everything life has to offer you.

I pray that you see life as beautiful as I see it right now, through so many rough and bumpy patches. I still know all things are not only good, but they are possible. Life can be even better having your bright mind lending itself to the future. Your future. You’ll be giving both you and life all it has to offer. It won’t always be smooth, but you’ll own the scars, the scars won’t own you.

Hands down, I will know I was a mother that not only did what was in her heart, but I am also the mother who wants to share with the world the best three people that I know.